Tuesday, July 26, 2005
hello again gentle reader! today was my first day back at uni after a too short 3 wk holiday which wasn't really a holiday but an extended exploration into some of the less explored country towns of nsw. all i could think about duing uni today were horrible horrible things of which i will spare you the monotony and discomfort of hearing. are other people generally happy? or does everyone walk around in a state of discontent? i would love to know. cos if everyone feels shit at least i would know thats normal. the problem is when books, tv, movies and advertising start shooting crap and then you start expecting more, which is of course, unrealistic. i don't know if this is making sense.
went to the gym today, which was good. i've found the secret to forcing myself to go. a) remember how they are ripping me off (2months before my contract's over yay!) b) think of something that makes me angry (of which there is no shortage of) and exercise through the anger. ahhh the gym - good for mind, body and soul...
forced myself to talk to diff people today. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. and i'm happy i did. got stuck with a pretty shirty group for group work, which will make up our major assessment for this semester. oh well, can't win em all i guess. still makes me pretty mad though.
sometimes i think i'm hypersensitive. or maybe i just have a really good memory. like i can remember whole conversations from years ago, if they relate to anything insulting towards me (even said in jest). must be the ultimate form of vanity, self absorption and pride. sometimes i disgust myself. actually often. today my friends and i had lunch and played this game where we 'won' if we ordered the nicest dish. i lost. and i got pissed off about it. what is wrong with me? am i in the third grade?
found the best site though. its these secrets which are on postcards, send anonymously by real ppl. some of the secrets are exactly the same as my own. nice to know that other ppl are going through the same shit (although they can at least express themselves in a more artistic and eloquent manner than myself).
need sleep.
went to the gym today, which was good. i've found the secret to forcing myself to go. a) remember how they are ripping me off (2months before my contract's over yay!) b) think of something that makes me angry (of which there is no shortage of) and exercise through the anger. ahhh the gym - good for mind, body and soul...
forced myself to talk to diff people today. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. and i'm happy i did. got stuck with a pretty shirty group for group work, which will make up our major assessment for this semester. oh well, can't win em all i guess. still makes me pretty mad though.
sometimes i think i'm hypersensitive. or maybe i just have a really good memory. like i can remember whole conversations from years ago, if they relate to anything insulting towards me (even said in jest). must be the ultimate form of vanity, self absorption and pride. sometimes i disgust myself. actually often. today my friends and i had lunch and played this game where we 'won' if we ordered the nicest dish. i lost. and i got pissed off about it. what is wrong with me? am i in the third grade?
found the best site though. its these secrets which are on postcards, send anonymously by real ppl. some of the secrets are exactly the same as my own. nice to know that other ppl are going through the same shit (although they can at least express themselves in a more artistic and eloquent manner than myself).
need sleep.
